last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
