I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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