well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I want her autograph on my taint
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
