And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
