I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize