jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
