Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
