I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
