You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
