My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize