Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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