his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
wow bdsm is so cute
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