even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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