woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize