saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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