she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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