New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
