just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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