So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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