So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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