Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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