I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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