is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
