Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We are all done wearing pants today
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
