remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
