if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
