it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
