I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
