just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
