The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i drank out of a bidet.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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