Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
