Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
