i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
