Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
