we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
