he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i used baking grease as lip gloss
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
