There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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