SEEEEXXX PLEASE
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
