Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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