I love black thongs
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
