school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
