I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
