we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
