Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
