Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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