morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Semen is not good for contacts.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
