In the future we'll all be gay
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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