It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
