Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
