new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I love you. Go after that dick
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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