we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
