You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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