capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
