I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
