If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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