my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
then he tried to convert me to islam
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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