did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
worst night to have a conscience
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
