Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
